We like the morning breeze while going to work, we like the soothing calm of the afternoon when coming from work, and we definitely like the financial benefits of having a steady income. What we DON’T like, however, is spending a big portion of our lives in servitude, trying to be responsible and productive for somebody else’s benefit. Now, if you’re among the few people who actually enjoy your job, good for you.
The big majority of us, on the other hand, do our job for because of the money and nothing more. So let’s say you’re planning something with your spouse or you want to enjoy whatever distraction you have waiting for you at home. This means you desperately want to get off work early, but how exactly do you do it? You can’t just demand the rest of the day off because you feel like it.
Over the next few minutes, we’ll explore some of the best white lies you can tell your bosses to let you go home from work early. Be advised that you might need to put on a bit of a performance to be as convincing as possible with some of them.
Home repairs – Pretend something in your house needs urgent repairs and you have a repairman coming to help.
Car trouble – You can always say that your car is making some sort of weird noise and you need to get it checked at the mechanic before closing time.
Home security – You could, for instance, pretend that someone tried to burglarize your home the previous day and you have to get home to install a security system.
Kids are sick – Say you received a disturbing phone call from your kid saying they’re not feeling that well so you must go home and attend to them.
Legal issues – Pretend you have to meet with a lawyer for a serious personal problem involving an ex or a family inheritance.
‘Lady doctor’ appointment – If you’re a woman, say you have an appointment with a gynecologist.
Awaiting delivery – You are waiting on a delivery and the delivery man said he’ll be there at a certain hour.
Shoulder to cry on – If you’re desperate, say you have a friend who just got served divorce papers and is threatening suicide, so you have to look after them before they do something stupid.
Embarrassing accident – If you literally have no shame, you might as well say you had a small ‘accident’ and you need to go home and change clothes…bonus points if you’re a woman ‘on her period’.
Visitors from out of town – Say you have visitors from out of town and so you have to go home and accommodate them.
A migraine – Surprisingly enough, the excuse that your head hurts works just as well at work as it does at school, simply state that you have an unbearable headache.
Hemorrhoids – Say you got terrible hemorrhoids and your doctor advised you to soak for a few hours in salt water for a few hours (this might get you off work early for a couple of days).
Back problems – Unless you’ve been sitting in a chair all day, say you pulled your back doing something and you need to go home and lay down.
Allergies – You could say that you ate something you weren’t supposed to during lunch break and you developed an allergic reaction.
Stupid neighbors – Some of your neighbors managed to damage some power lines and your loud home alarm is making people angry.
Septic tank overflowed – Your septic tank overflowed and you have to go home and deal with the problem.
Teenage trouble – Say your teenage nephew is staying with you and he got into trouble with the neighbors by doing something stupid.
Stomach virus – You seem to have caught a stomach virus and you need to go home and rest for a while.
Car accident – A family member has gotten into a car accident and needs your help.
Domestic disturbances – A good friend of yours is moving out of her abusive boyfriend’s house and you have to help her.
Doctor’s orders – You are suffering from a urinary tract issue and your doctor told you to rest at a specific time of day.
Civil duty – You have been summoned to do your jury duty or simply say that you’ve been summoned to appear in court.
Something wrong with your blood – Tell your boss that they found irregularities during your yearly blood work and you have to go in for a checkup.
Woman issues – If you’re a woman with a male boss, tell him you have some ‘women issues’ you need to deal with, most men won’t question you about these sort of things.
Pulling teeth – Tell your boss that you have a dentist appointment.
Labor trouble – Say you have a close relative who just went into labor and you have to assist them.
Mom’s car broke down – Tell your boss that your mother from out of town was planning a surprise visit, but her car broke down and you have to help her.
Food poisoning – You have food poisoning and you must urgently see a doctor about it.
Pet problems – Neighbors called and told you that your cat has just fallen out of the window and ran away.
Pipes broke – This is perhaps the most efficient way to get off work early. Tell your boss that a pipe broke in your apartment and you have to go deal with angry neighbors.